another quote from a blog

... "it is not in getting the rules right or in defining all of the rules and theology that will make our children want to serve God. It is in laying down our life for them, serving them, listening to them, loving who God made them within the context of a call to holiness, that will secure in them a desire to love God with all of their hearts. By seeing our love, they will more easily understand and receive God’s love, as it will already be familiar to their hearts and brains."

from Sally Clarkson, http://www.itakejoy.com/if-you-want-your-child-to-love-god-dont-go-by-the-rules/

Something I too have been thinking about. It's all about our love for the Savior that they see overflowing and spilling all over them.

Four is Fun

I love this boy!! It is just so much fun to have a 4 year old. He talks non-stop and asks way to many questions, but to hear his curiosity and his crazy imagination is so much fun!! Almost every time I ask him to do something, it is responded with "why?". This drives me crazy, but I'm trying to patiently reminded him to obey right away and then ask why. I realized he really wants to know, most of the time it's not just a stall tactic. With this questioning, I've also reminded that he has a sensitive heart. Many times, I've reacted with impatience and angrily sent him away. When he's done with time out, or completed his task, he returns to me telling me "You scared me."

Now, this does several things to my heart. First it makes me sad, I can see that my over action hurt his feelings and realize that he doesn't need my strong reaction to obey. Second, I am reminded that a little bit of fear for the parent is necessary and a good thing. I am also realizing that he has a sweet sensitivity that can also be a blessing. Hopefully he will be sensitive to our teaching and we will get to avoid major issues. Hopefully, it's a sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit and a calling to repentance and a desire to follow the Lord.

I'm reading a book called "Give Them Grace" by Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter, Jessica. The purpose of the book is to teach parents to guide their kids in all they do to see how the Gospel affects all parts of our life. Everything we do leads back to Christ's death and forgiveness of our sins. It's convicting. I want to parent in this way. Now that Thomas is 4, I can have more conversations with him. I want to take advantage of his sensitive heart and disobedience and use it as an opportunity to share the gospel with him.

Raising kids is such a blessing from the Lord!! He molds us through it, both the mistakes and the blessings. Hopefully we will be able to do it in light of the gospel and I pray that the Lord will help and allow Thomas to understand!!

Well, this post turned out to be more on the serious matters of my heart for my oldest son. I'll have to share soon on his silliness and imagination.

Today's Readings

This morning I sat down early to catch up on my blog reading, I found a few quotes I just had to share. Since Thomas is currently sitting in my lap I'll let you ponder them on your own instead of adding in my own two cents.

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:15-16)

"we must walk by faith in our own homes, trusting in the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit to show us every day how to best relate to our children. Our goal is to reach their hearts with the messages that are on His heart, and to transfer to them an understanding of his Kingdom and our stewardship as His children to be stewards of that message"

Sally Clarksen

"Now I’ll explain. I believe wholeheartedly that children need to feel valued, cherished, and loved. But think back to any other period of history other than the last 20-30 years. Do you think our grandparents or great-grandparents were concerned about spending one on one time with their children. Uh, no. I think that the idea of one on one time is a pop-culture idea that has come, in large part from secular psychology. I believe that it has come out of this crazy world that we live in where we are so busy in our two income families, or even just running from errand to errand and event to event, that our children were beginning to be neglected. We are so focused on ourselves and our own lives, that we are not allowing our kids to be kids. We are not allowing them to just BE.

Somewhere along the way, someone must have noticed this, and come up with this idea to artificially create “quality time” with our children by scheduling them one on one time with their parents. Otherwise, they’d never see them. In her book, In Praise of Stay At Home Moms, Dr. Laura says this:"Quality moments occur only when there is quantity time for them to spontaneously occur." "

http://www.courageoushomekeeping.com/featured/what-about-guilt/

Did you catch that? Marriage as a picture of the gospel wasn't an afterthought. It wasn't a backup plan. It was the purpose for marriage from the beginning. And God's purpose hasn't changed. Reflecting the gospel is God's ideal for all marriages at all times.

It is good. It is glorious. It is for the gospel.

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/gods-ideal-for-marriage

“People are like stained glass windows.

They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,

but when the darkness sets in,

that is when their true beauty is revealed,

only if there is a light from within.” Elizabeth Kubler Ross

The View From My Kitchen "Window"

As I use to ponder the idea of owning my own home, or just having my own home, something I wondered (or dreamed about, really) was what the view out my kitchen window would be. I wanted rolling hills, the mountains, watching the sunset. I wanted to be able to open the window to hear the rain and the sweet noise of the laughter of my children. I looked forward to having a window to stare out of, so much so that even in our apartment there was a wrought iron window box hung above the sink with towels "planted" in the basket part. In our condo, I got my first real window. It over looked the grassy area and it was a nice place to do the dishes and daydream.

Now, in our home, I love the view! We don't have a window over the sink as I use to dream about, but I have a perfect "window" to look out on my family. I can hear the laughter and witness the lives of those that I love. I can be a part of the party that's taking place as we have friends and family in and I can even look to my right and see the backyard to see the playing that takes place. And if I get really close to that window, stand on my tiptoes, I can see some hills.

I, as most other wives and mothers do, find my self spending most of my day at the kitchen sink. Whether it's washing my hands or someone else's, doing the dishes, preparing dinner, breakfast, lunch or a snack and even bathing my sweet little one, much of my day is spent there. I praise the Lord for the view He has given me out my window. It's a place to enjoy the hear and now and dream about the blessings the future holds. I pray it's a place I always praise the Father for the ones I am standing there serving, even if it's the 100th dirty item for the day and my back and feet are hurting. May my heart always be full of love for that view!

Nesting?

I've been putting all my energy to use. I've been learning to crochet new projects with thanks to you tube and a friend. I'm organizing and re-organizing Thomas room, keeping the counter cleaner than normal. Simply annoyed by little messes and pieces of trash that just shouldn't be there. I didn't "nest" really at all with Thomas, but I'm pretty sure that's what is going on here. Sure, it's stuff that should be done, I just have a different need to do them. I'm annoyed when my back or feet hurt and prevent me from doing them!! Our big project lately has been landscaping! We're planting bright colorful flowers and spiffing up the front yard. We (by that I mean Jared as Thomas and I watched), cut down a tree today. Then got some beautiful, bright pink flowers in the ground. I can't wait to get it all done and share the pictures. Then, move onto the backyard!! Now, I just need to feel the same way about those bathrooms!! Hoping to find energy for those!!

What did you find yourself "needing" to do before your baby came?

The View

I've watched the View occassionally over the last couple of years. Stopped while Rosie was on, just couldn't handle that. Whopi seems to be much better. Always want to cheer Elizabeth on. Last week I was so infuriated that I swore I would never watch it again. They were bad mouthing Christians for not being accepting. Briefly, a little girl wasn't being allowed into a catholic private school because her parents were lesbians. Talk went round and round and the point was brought up that it was private and the schools rules. Joy wasn't satisfied with this because religion needs to loosen up was her point. She basically said if we're suppose to be wise and loving than we need to be accepting. This made me so mad!! Yes, we need to be wise and accepting, but this doesn't mean we through the Bible out the window. Whopi too wanted us to open our minds and loosen up. I kept thinking of the old saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." If we don't stick to the Bible, then why bother!!! If we go with a "cut and paste" philosophy or with today's social wisdom, then why bother! We no longer stand for anything, but everything. That's not how it works!! As you can tell, this just left me made and unsettled.

Today, as I was reading through 1 Corinthians 2, I was so excited to read verse 7. "Yet we do speak wisdome amoung those who are MATURE," (meaning, having wise decisions with mature believers in their faith, not wasting our time arguing with the TV and the ladies on the view, they just wont get it) but it goes on, "however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age who are passing away," As Christians, we don't speak in the wisdom of our culture today or with the wisdom of today's leaders. We are told right there not to give into it and even, in a way, warned that it won't be the same as ours. So exciting to have the Bible completely applied to my life today. It happens often, but so excited to have a verse in mind when today's wisdom is so wrong. I was told it would happen!!

Growing Up So Quickly

It's amazing how some outfits make us realize just how big Thomas is getting. This last Sunday was one of those times. We had him all dressed up in his "church clothes," his hair nicely combed and when he walked into the hall, I nearly cried. There was my sweet little boy looking like an almost 3 year old! It wasn't just me, Jared thought the same thing also. So did many of the friends at church. I just wish I could slow this part down. I think this stage will be my favorite. Even with the feisty independence. I love the imagination, the exploration, the pretending and the fact I still get a kiss whenever I ask for one. Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a sweet "Smoocher."

ps check out the "guys" in his hands. They go EVERYWHERE with us. I can get him to leave Minnie, Goofy and Donald in the car, but it's tears if he can't bring Mickey and Daisy. They go to the store, the park and even church. We came near disaster yesterday when Mickey was missing for 20 minutes, but Grammy came to the rescue!

A Quality Switch-a-roo

This last weekend the mom's at our church got together for a clothing exchange. This was the first one we had all participated in and it was a blast. It was free shopping!! All the mom's with clothes to give dropped them off at my house at some point on Friday, a couple of the gals and I set them up throughout my house in an organized fashion. We had different rooms designated for either men's, women's or children's, from there they were organized by size. Our goal was to make it look and feel like a boutique, we even had signs for the restroom and a fitting room.

Saturday morning we opened up at 8 for those that had brought close to share and then the rest of the group from 9 to 12. We had breakfast goodies, coffee and juice ready for the shoppers. It was so much fun and a blessing to some of our friends! Everyone walked away with something new to them or for their family. It was so much fun to see one of the gals pick out something for a date night for her and her husband. Her and her husband were both so excited with what she put together. A great way to shop and truly save money!

All the clothes leftover will be donated this week to the Oppurtunity House, which is a home for mother's and their children. It's supported by a thirft shop.
I recommend trying this with your own church! Make sure you let everyone know it's coming up a few months ahead of time so they can start collecting clothes (and so they don't send them somewhere else in the meantime) and then make sure word gets out to remind them in the weeks before. Important things I will remember for next time is the more you have involved the better (we may do whole church). It will give the shoppers more to choose from and offer more sizes and styles. We might even try it with our High School/Jr. High girls and do a fashion show and make overs. Make it a great party and a time to talk about modesty. In this economy it was a great way to have fun for free and get some new life into our closets and a great way to bless our friends with what we didn't want anymore!

Here are some pictures of the event and a few how-to's:

This is the "Women's" section. We have pant on the bench in, T-shirts on the table (separated by size and long sleeve/short sleeve. I recommend just doing by size) and the nice clothes hung and separated by sized (ask for donations of hangers, the more that can be hung, the easier it is for shoppers). We printed out signs (pink sticking up out of the middle) and then taped them to a straw and push pinned them onto the dowels. We used the ladder rungs as shelves for shoes. We bungee corded the closet rods to the ladders and then used the fireplace as the second anchor.

Men's department!

Children's department. Seperated into boys and girls and then by size and type of clothing. This was a tricky section to keep organized, but since we didn't have that many sizes or clothes it worked out ok. I used by shower rod to hang the clothes over by the computer.

Snuggy Time

Thomas is growing up and that's more and more evident everyday. He's learning to do so much more and is communicating more. He doesn't even look like a baby anymore. Most of the time that is wonderful, once in awhile not so much. We are daily (sometimes hourly) reminded that, he too, is a sinner. His latest phrase is, "No, no Mommy" or "No, no Daddy." He somehow thinks he has a choice in everything... we're working on this. The wonderful ways are thankfully more frequent. He loves to put dishes in the sink, trash in the garbage and feed Bailey (or any other dog for that matter), but he doesn't just love chores. He loves to play with his piano, cars and tools. He'll sit for a good 20 minutes in his room totally engrossed in a new made up game. His absolute favorite thing to do is to jump!! He'll jump off anything, the couch, the bed, the chair and me!! But don't worry, if it's more than two inches off the ground, he asks for help. If he thinks he can do it on his own and I don't so stay near, he confidently states, "Move Mommy!" (we're working on that, too!) My favorite though was the other night when he joined us on the couch for a little "Bob TV" (veggietales), he grabbed my blanket pulled it over towards me and stated, "nuggie, Mommy." Which as he climbed on my lap, I realized meant "snuggie." This is something I ask of him when we're reading books or watching T.V. and being a boy, he doesn't always want to comply. That night he did, on his own and asked for it. I love being a mommy!

For All You Stay at Home Moms

We've all heard this and perhaps even said this before we had kids. It's a tough life and friendships change after kids come along, but I hope all your friends are more understanding than this! That said, the friendship part is not why I wanted to post this though. It was because I appreciated the response!

It was emailed to me as a picture, which isn't readable here so I'll just type it up:

Tell Me About It, by Carolyn Hax of The Washingto Post

Title: Why don't friends with kids have time?

"Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etch. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group... OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please not lists of library, grocery store dry cleaners... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kids is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours"? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions. - Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and Enjoy. You're funny.

Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.

Ore you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that they only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, anyone of which produces checkout-line screaming.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long term expense.

It's doing all this while con-currently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thought s instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about your or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand to keep your snit to yourself."

It is a tough job and one to take pride in. A job we've been given from the Lord. One He can only give us the strength and resolve to do. So, keep up the good work!!

Bride Wars

I had the pure joy of seeing a movie with a couple of good friends this last Monday. It was a great time away from our little ones, a chance to be just girls! So, it seemed fitting to see a "chick flick". It was a great movie. I think something we all needed. A chance to be just girls, sometimes a mom needs that, even just for two hours. But back to the movie, it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen and probably won't make it on my "top ten" list, but it made me laugh and it made me cry, so today it's high on the list! I laughed because I related. I was the girl with the best friend that made the wedding box and we talked for endless hours about the day we would walk down the aisle. I related to the friendship of the two girls (except for the fighting, of course.) It made me appreciate my girlfriends even more and miss, oh so terribly, the ones no longer in my life.
So, grab a good friend and go do something fun!!
(I have to add a disclaimer... as Hollywood always does, they throw something not-so tasteful in a PG movie, just because... the bachlorette party scene is a bit too much.)

Why "the little things..."

When I decided to do I blog the hardest thing was trying to decide what to name it. As I thought about it, I started with things that I like, something to sum up what I do and something about my family. Well, recently I've tried appreciating the little things. I find myself, admittedly all too often, looking forward to the next big event in our lives. At retreat, I found myself thinking at retreat as we talked about how God has blessed us, hmm what's a big thing that happened in my life. I had to stop myself, because I was overlooking all the things I thought were just "little things," when in reality, all those "little things" are HUGE!!! They are God's day-to-day blessings, gifts from Him and I want to enjoy each and every one of them. So with this blog I say, "Thank you Lord for the little things!!" I'm thankful for each and every blessing!