Life Right Now

So life with little ones is an ever changing process.  Just when you get into a good grove, a new routine and think things are settling in, something happens to change that.  Well, it did and it is!  Benjamin developed this lovely mouth-sore virus.  It was awful people!  Crazy high fevers, crying, crabbiness, late nights, early mornings.  All things joyful!  I felt so bad for the poor little guy, oh and of course bad for me as well.  There was nothing we could do to keep him happy for very long.  Poor me, I mean, poor baby.

Well, he's mostly recovered, I'm almost over my self pity.  Honestly, I'm struggling.  As a lingering effect of Benjamin's virus, he is still waking up between 5 and 5:45 am.  Now, I've gotten into the habit of waking up with Jared around 5:15 and come to love my quiet mornings with time to read my Bible, maybe get in a little work out and just to simply enjoy a quiet house.  Well, Ben's need to be up early has left me missing that and in a bit of a funk.  I'm sure I'm a pure joy to live with : ).  (sorry, babe!)

Today, I really felt the brunt of it and started wallowing in self pity.  Right where I'm suppose to go, right?  It took me back to the months after Benjamin was born.  I had been setting aside my time to meditate, arrange my daily schedule to make time for the Lord.  Why was He now letting the kids mess up my schedule?  Thomas isn't napping so I can't do it then, when will I get my time in? Why would He take that away from me?  Yes, I went there.  Then I realized, He wouldn't.  He will never take away our time to do what He asks of us, "to meditate day and night."  It may be harder some days, even seem impossible, but He will always provide a way for us to be faithful.

So, I sit here determined to find a way.  The obvious answer came from deep down and from my husband.  "Well, we can do that instead of watching shows." Yes, Lord, I heard the reminder.  "Meditate day and NIGHT."  Yes, my so-called perfect schedule has been re-arranged.  I'm learning that's the life of a mom.  That's what it takes to be a mom that wants to "walk like Jesus."  So, Yes Lord, I will listen.  I will make that time.  I will do my best to be faithful.  I will thank you for stretching me and testing me.  Help me to be found faithful!!

That's where we are at today.  Ever on this journey He has us on, ready for what comes around the curve.  Hoping that it won't be too bumpy, but praying for strength and courage if it is!  I know we have some rough road ahead and Lord, may I be found faithful!!